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| About
the bricks on the title page: I had just moved to Long Beach in
early '99 when all the coffee shops suddenly stopped hosting poetry
readings. (No, I didn't have anything to do with that.) When I asked
why, they told me that the poets had been too depressing, and coffee sales
had dropped drastically. So why didn't the bars start doing poetry
readings? Seems like depressing poetry would be just the thing for
boosting liquor sales! Shortly afterward, the story got started that here in
Long Beach we poets don't do poetry readings -- we just spraypaint our
poems on walls and freeway overpasses! Well, audiences in Encino and
Redondo Beach thought that was funny, anyway. |
| Daring
to make mistakes: Considering how
complex our society has gotten, it is impossible for even the best of people NOT TO SCREW
UP SOMETHING in life at one time or another. We can just be glad if our screwups don't
kill innocent bystanders. I still often regret having wasted productive years of my life
trying too hard not to screw up anything, or at least not to letting anyone see me do it.
Doing that means either not accomplishing anything worthwhile, or lying about the
mistakes. Don't miss opportunities for learning by not being daring enough to be stupid.
(July 1996) |
| Three
important rules from an old boss, (John F. Schmidt, affectionately known
as The Chief ): 1. Be a straight arrow 2. Stick to your guns 3.
Never, ever prostitute your own ethics. They're who you are. (August 1981) |
| We,
as traffic: We are the traffic that passes through each others' lives
constantly -- sometimes as brief glimpses of mutual unawareness, other
times sharing our journeys with one another. And if we are traffic to one
another, then we are also each others' signs -- in our expressions,
demeanor, the things we do and say, or sometimes fail to do and say to one
another. (Signs in the language of traffic
theme page, June 2000) |
| The
responsibility of poets: We exist for
our audience, not the other way around. Therefore, a poet should not be a wall of
screaming graffiti gyrating before the reader's face. We have newspaper editorials that do
that well enough. (Glass Panes theme page, March 1999) |
| The
importance of now: Better realize that
time is short, that events must be cherished, and that the making of memories can no
longer be left for later. Even if we're not aware of it every moment, we are always
leaving from somewhere no matter how slowly, and life is, after all, rented, not owned. (Last Days of May theme page, September 1998) |
| Time
in our lives: Ultimately, isn't time our lives' medium of transport? It gives us
distance and perspective, and hurls us through emotions, memories, and, of course,
relationships. People, events and places approach, accompany us, and are sometimes left
behind as life keeps moving us along. (Pervasive
Transport theme page, March 2000) |
| Diversity,
ancestry and culture: I think that
each of us strives to reconcile our identity, aspirations and
talents with the culture and ideals that shaped us. Each of us serves as a conduit between
the often-mundane events we observe of the outside world, and our inner
values and beliefs. It is, after all, who we are that lends profoundness
to how we perceive events around us. (Catal
theme page, 2002) Many of us (myself
included) have traveled far in order to find what we now regard as home. We
humans are migratory creatures, so many of us are thriving far from the
places our ancestors came from. Traveling far, we carry our culture and
stories with us. They are ultimately our most valuable possessions, as they
add to the experiences and learning of others we come in contact with. (Pirates
Parrots of 2nd Street theme page, 2003) |
| Music: "If
I had to live with the music of only three artists, it would be Collective Soul, R.E.M.
and Steely Dan." I owe them a lot of inspiration. (It's no surprise that my CD
collection has just about every one of these CDs ever recorded.) (from a video, August
1996) |
| On
creativity: I was at a theater production's farewell party when I realized what a
wonderful, inexhaustible thing human creativity is. Even after everything that has been
written, played, sung, and said throughout our history...there somehow still remain things
for us to create and say that are original, worthwhile and profound. And we're not running
out yet. There are still vacancies to be filled in our music, our literature, our art, in
anything that requires the ability to convey a message that feels new and original. So
create! Dream! We have vacancies to fill. (Vacancies
theme page, June 1999) |
| An
ultimate goal: Just like everyone
else meandering the sidewalk of life, I'm striving all these years to be true to myself.
So what else is new? The hard part is really finding out what the heck that
"self" is. Life isn't going to be long enough to find that out. And guess what
-- you've got the same job! (August 1997) |
| Being
outnumbered: Go ahead -- Measure yourself against the entirety of the whole world and
find that you will always come up short. Always. Get used to it, and quit doing it.
(October 1997) |
|
Being: You can only be in
one place at any time. Choose where you want to be carefully. (Early 2002) |
Dealing
with your own flaws: I'm always
impressed how those who know and love us best are all too often the best at bashing us
over the head with our own flaws, thinking guilt and manipulation is in our own interest.
It's not. Don't ever underestimate the danger of this "friendly fire". It knows
better than anything else where to find you and how to hurt you. It will gut you to the
core before you know what's going on. Here's what worked for me:
1. Try to use your flaws in productive ways
2. You will be more useful to the world if,
flaws and all, you carry on with your purpose in life. The alternative is cowering in a
corner like a clod of dirt, lamenting your imperfections. Guess how much you can get done
by doing that!
3. Being flawed should not be crippling to your
effectiveness, as long as something good can still come of your actions. (early 1997) |
| On
Love: The concept of love is an overly simplistic analysis of lots of complex
motivations. That's one way of saying I'm not really sure. (August 1997 -- from a letter
to a friend) |
| More
on the same subject: You can't make someone love you - that one
doesn't take too long to discover. Nobody can make you love them - that one takes a
little longer. Then finally, you'll run across those who won't ever allow you to
love them - I think that one's usually the last one we discover. (November
1999) |
| Conflict
and confrontation are not necessarily bad things. They are an instrumental part
of our purpose in life if they're fought for a worthwhile cause, to protect those we love,
or, most importantly, against our own faults and weaknesses (rampart theme page, Summer 1999) |
| The Doctrine of
Manifest Effect:- Do what you need to do openly in accordance to your
goals and principles. Let everyone else react the way they that they will.
Dealing with them should be secondary to your act of moving toward your goal
and having openly declared your intentions. (Summer 2002) |
| Trying
to keep people in your life: I have come
to realize that over the years, I have lost track of many people who were once my friends
or otherwise dear to me. Maybe it was because I have failed to tell them I didn't want
them to go. If I want someone in my life now, I let them know. If they're embarrassed and
never talk to me again, at least I've tried. (July 1996) |
| An
artist's responsibilities: Artists can't
be stopped by common sense, or social sensibilities, can they? We have a responsibility to
our art, don't we? It's our duty to create and to publish, even if we're scorned by
society, isn't it! So what if I'm stupid! ? (excerpt from an e-mail to a fellow writer,
October 1997) |
| Responsibilities
toward those you care for: (This one
will take some space to explain) When I was in my 20s, I worked with a girl whom I
absolutely adored. Her name was Kathy. We weren't really friends, just co-workers. One
summer, Kathy bought her first new car and decided to drive to Virginia Beach by herself
to visit relatives, about a 12 hour drive. I seemed to be the only person concerned about
her driving all this way by herself. I considered the possibility of following her at
least part of the way to make sure she'd get there all right. It really wasn't appropriate
under the circumstances, and my friends told me so. So I did the socially proper thing and
let her drive by herself. Her car had engine trouble halfway there, and she was stranded
until a man stopped and offered her a ride to the next town. He kidnapped her, kept her at
his house for three days, raped and beat her before finally letting her go. I never saw
her return to work. Her friends told me it would take a long time for her to recover
physically and mentally from the ordeal. I had wanted to do what would have been the right
thing, even if it was impractical and stupid, but instead, I did what was socially
expected of me - nothing. Some
years later I had a co-worker named Jan. We worked well together, and I respected her a
great deal professionally. Eight months after we started working together, our company
called two meetings at the same time. I was sent to one, Jan to the other. Everyone in
Jan's meeting got laid off. My group got to stay. Later, as some of us who still had jobs
were standing numbly in the parking lot, Jan was in her car crying, while some of the
others who had gotten laid off comforted her. I didn't know what I could say that would
make her feel better, didn't think anything could make it better, felt embarrassed about
being in the other group. So I just stood there and never tried to say anything, because I
couldn't think of the right words. I never saw her again after that day. Anything I could
have said to her that afternoon, no matter how awkwardly, would have told her I was
concerned and willing to help. It would have been better than nothing. Instead I did what
many others did that day - nothing.
I promised myself from that point on, I would do
more for the people I cared for than what's socially correct, expected or what everyone
else does, because I'll never know if someone more qualified is going to be around to do
it. Sometimes there won't be anyone else. Doing the right thing is not always easy. It
requires walking that thin line between respecting someone's independence, and the act of
protecting and nurturing them. I still don't make the right judgment call every time and
often still end up looking awkward, but I never want to catch myself doing
"nothing" ever again. |
| Permanence,
or lack of: I firmly believe now that the mastery of anything can be a
transient and dynamic thing. Get good and comfortable in something, and you may still find
yourself a shocked newcomer to whatever comes next around that blind corner of life.
Sometimes, we're hit with our continuous dispossession as humans -- even in all our
efforts, time spent in the sunshine of our successes is limited, so we have to deal with
the cloudy interludes as best as we can. When all is said and done, we measure
ourselves by how well we deal with life's trials, not by how we manage our victories. (Clouds, intervening theme page, Fall 1999).
|
| Greed: Getting
greedy with life can backfire -- Take all things as they come, and in the amount they
come. If you don't exercise that restraint, you'll deprive yourself of the pleasure of
life's gifts by busily wanting more and more (October 1997) |
| More on
doing something: I firmly believe that in many situations, it's better to do
anything than nothing. You might hesitate to act, thinking it's not going to be perfect,
or not the best possible. Do it. It's better than doing nothing. Anybody can do nothing.
It's easy to do nothing, but doing that never accomplished anything. (December 1998) |
Changing
latitudes: I've often felt that it's good to move somewhere
where I've
always wanted to be, and try my luck there. If I fail, at least I'll be somewhere
different. (Spring 2000)
Or, put differently: You can
only be in one place at any time. So,
choose where you want to be
- carefully.
(Early 2002) |
| Weathering
our "winters": Like nature, we sometimes face a winter of the
spirit when the best we can do is to respect ourselves for what we have done so far and
preserve strength and endurance for another time. Weathering our winters means learning to
endure with the knowledge that we must hold on until time and circumstances permit us to
do more. We are, ultimately, what we have, to make it though life. Like nature, we
do not grow continually but must learn to accept our winters and live through them.
(Lately, the silence theme page, Winter 1999) |
| Failure:
If we never dare to fail, we will never discover our limits. We'll never grow. Be
daring enough to really screw up sometimes. Then you can also learn humility, and the art
of apologizing. It's good to do all three well. (November 1997) Now that I've completed
the circle, go back to the top of this section and start over, just like in real life. |
